Unexpected Turn...

I was running as fast as I could...running, running, running. It felt like forever. I couldn't slow down, but I couldn't speed up. It was like I was stuck in a never ending cycle. Someone was behind me, but I didn't dare to look back, in the chance that I might trip over a twig or rock along the dirt path. The hills ahead intimidated me, but I had no other choice but to lift my knees and push forward. The scenery was so peaceful and so natural. Yet, the moment was causing far too much stress. I could see the flowing water running along side of me. The trees at least had the courtesy to provide me with a sense of shade in this humidity. The cloud of heat that hung in the air made my lungs feel like they couldn't expand, and my chest was tight. So much was going on in my life at this very moment, but I was forced into a zone. I knew what I had to do, and so much was riding on me. I couldn't let anyone down, and I especially couldn't let myself down.

I had trained for months just for this exact moment in time. People knew my name and they knew my capabilities. I had no other choice but to win; that's what they expected of me. I rounded a turn, as I was forced to maneuver my steps in a zig-zag motion to get around the tree root that protruded into my path. Hundreds of people surrounded the track. I saw their lips moving, and their motions of jumping up and down led me to believe that they were acting in encouragement. My mind was in such a fog, that I couldn't even register any voices.

"Okay Kristen, 2 miles down, only 1 more to go. You can do this." I was trying to push myself, but something was holding me back. The spikes on my shoes dug deeper and deeper into the dirt with every step I took. It was like my feet were made of bricks all of a sudden. I didn't know what was happening. My vision became blurred, my breathing sounded like I had a frog in my throat, and my legs suddenly felt like jello. All of the expectations that were hanging on my shoulders, suddenly went down the toilet.



I awoke moments later to team mates, coaches, and parents surrounding me with water, wet cloths, and faces of disbelief. I guess the pressure, along with the 95 degree weather took me down. They all had this idea that I would win it for the team, but instead a moment of black out made the dream come to a crashing halt.